VTS 01 1 Manisha sings

THE HEART HAS ITS REASONS Part II

Dear Friends 

The wait period is over and the second part of the story "The Heart has its reasons" is here. I have been receiving e-mails in  appreciation of part I and urging me to publish the 2nd part quickly. So the second part is here and I hope you enjoy it even more than the 1st one. Enjoy the story and please leave your comments.

Part II

The next two days at the office were full with activity, and secretly, Nisha wished that she would be able to see Deven more often.  Finally, on the third day Deven suggested that they go to see a movie. Having informed maa that she would be late in the evening Nisha looked forward to spending time with Deven.  They saw a hilarious movie with Sharukh Khan in the lead role, her favourite hero. After the movie they settled in Deven’s car to leave for Nisha’s house. The next moment became memorable for Nisha. To her surprise Deven caught Nisha’s hand in his own to catch her attention.  Lightly caressing her soft and small hand, he described to Nisha, how attractive he found her. He also told her, how much he liked being with her.  Feeling a little embarrassed and feeling the colour rise on her cheeks she pulled out her hand without responding to requests by Deven to share her feelings too.   Soon Deven started the car and dropped her home.

Nisha kept reliving the incident.

The next morning back to work, she found a file returned on her Desk.  She had dealt with a training project for middle management level officers and had spent a lot of energy and time over planning its details. Each such plan was supposed to be moved through various levels and evaluated by rotation among officers nominated by the board. The names of such officers were not revealed to the team proposing the project. The project could not go through the evaluating members for the approval of the board because the foreign component, suggested by her, was considered to be unnecessary by one officer. That person had opined that expenditure on foreign component may turn out to be an extravagance on the part of the company.  In fact from the way the comment was worded, Nisha could easily guess that the manager did not support the concept of training the workforce and considers it to be a waste of time and money. The problem from this kind of evaluation of the scheme of a project was that she virtually had no clue as to who had raised any objection or had appreciated the scheme. There were comments from ten members only, without any revelation of their names or signatures. All the other comments were appreciating various aspects of the plan proposed by her. 

Now, she would have to explain why foreign training component is considered an essential feature of this project. She would also be required to give justification as to how it could build capabilities of the personnel in the company in the area of business development and what benefits could be derived out of it in the long run. She found the differing comment baseless and irritating. She also became a little apprehensive because a delegation from Australia was scheduled to visit the company, the next week and any delay in decision making will be disastrous at this juncture and may jeopardise the whole training plan.  She caught the file and went to Sulakshna, her Team Head’s room.  She found Suneel already seated in her room.  She greeted both of them.  To her surprise, she found Suneel telling her that he thought that she had worked hard on the project. The three of them had an engaging discussion on different aspects of implementation of the project.  After broadly agreeing on a strategy, just before leaving the room she detected a funny glint in his eyes.

She started pondering over the possible reasons for it or could it have something to do with her or the project.  Suddenly it occurred to her that that the person objecting to her plan could be Suneel, and now he was mocking at her for the frustration she felt, which may be apparent from her body language. “Oh, it was so easy to guess. I wasted so much time brooding over this issue. It was Mr. Suneel again playing his pranks,” she thought. “But then why did he seem so deeply involved in the discussion?”She mused further, “Was he just putting up a show and enjoying himself at my expense?” She was tempted to stay back with Sulakshna and air her views, but she was already hard pressed to complete her job urgently and stopping for a discussion would consume another quarter of an hour. So, deciding otherwise, she  went back to her cabin.  She felt a determination rising inside her to make the project a success however; hard she might have to work on it. The discussion held in the room helped her a lot in outlining the course that was required to be followed to get the project through another round of evaluation after highlighting the benefits that would accrue from the foreign training component. Soon she was deeply absorbed in her work.  She sat late that evening to complete her work so that she could move the proposal again next morning for the evaluating team.

In the next few days, she found herself looking forward to spend some more time with Deven and disliked the fact that she had become very busy.  However, one morning she found an opportunity to visit Deven.  As she knocked on the door, she bumped into Meenakshi who was coming out.  She could sense that Meenakshi was upset over something.  She overheard a familiar voice which was a little raised as she entered the room and could make out that some argument was going on. Suddenly all the eyes fell on her and she felt as if she had been the subject of their argument. Dismissing this feeling she greeted Ajay, Suneel and then Deven. After exchanging the greetings Ajay left the room and as expected by her Suneel too left the room without saying anything to her. Alone with Deven she enquired as to whether anything was wrong but Deven declined it and said it was a normal argument regarding planning of a scheme. Deven had to leave for a meeting with the CEO so they did not get much time to talk.

Nisha went home early that day because maa had telephoned her specially to do so.  When she entered the house she noticed that maa had cleaned the drawing room that day with much more care than usual. The best thing she liked about her house was that maa kept it very clean and comfortable.  She often joined mother in decorating the drawing room by spreading beautiful linen on table, covers on sofas, arranging flowers in the vases. She liked helping her with cleaning the artefacts that her father had brought from various places in India and abroad while touring on his official duties.  She was quite proud of the collection they had.  There was a chess board made of Italian glass with white and black squares painted and the chess men too in glass delicately made, wearing dresses that represented the army of the whites and the darks. There was a big face of Durga delicately carved out of shoal wood which was brought from Kolkata. It hung on the wall facing the main gate as if bestowing blessings on all who came to the house. There were brass plates from Moradabad, hung on the side walls facing each other. On a narrow shelf on the right wall stood a miniature Tajmahal, in white marble, reminding of the original in Agra. There was a pleasant aroma in the room and she realised it was opium room freshener that father had brought from Puducherry and she had loved it very much.

“There is something happening, what could it be?”, she tried to guess. It was neither maa- baba’s anniversary nor any body’s birthday.  A birthday in her house was not less than a festival, and all the members of her family participated heartily in the preparations for its celebration. If it were her or her younger sister’s birthday then the festive atmosphere may begin even two months ahead of the ‘D’ date. The birthday baby would keep singing about her forthcoming birthday and reminding others about the approaching great event.

So full of curiosity Nisha went looking for maa from room to room. She looked into her parent’s room where generally maa would be at this time of the day, but could not find her. Nisha heard her humming her favourite old movie song and followed it to the kitchen.

The Heart has its reasons

Hello friends

 I am back again on the blog spot. I have kept you waiting for a long time.  Many of you have been asking me on the phone as to why am I not publishing anything.  Well some events at the work place had kept me very busy and also out of tune to allow me to bring something new and fresh to you.  However, whatever may happen there should not be any laziness on my part.  I hope that new posts on this blog will be now a regular feature.  What I am bringing to you is a story which will be covered in more than one part. It is  from our everyday lives. Hope you enjoy the story. Please leave your comments to which I look forward to most eagerly.

 

THE HEART HAS ITS REASONS

  Nisha hurried through the breakfast

gulping down big chunks of chapattis paying little attention to her mother’s instructions to eat carefully. After finishing her milk, she rushed out of her apartment with a bag, hanging on one shoulder. She put on her stylish brown sunglasses that surely added more gravity to her powerful and attractive personality. This is how her mornings have been for the past eight months.

She walked down the lane towards the bus stop, nearly seven hundred meters from her house tip-toeing on her stilettos.  She was hoping to catch the 8:30 bus that would reach her to the office by 9:05 hrs. Lo and behold, as she neared the bus stop, she saw the bus moving away and by the time she reached the bus stop, it had already sped away. 

Trying to stop auto-rickshaws, one after the other, proved to be futile. All of them were already full. It was already quarter to nine, however, one auto slowed down near her but in the back seat there were two hefty looking guys sitting and one of them ogling at her mumbled, “chalegi kya?” Nisha retreated two steps but the auto became stationary. The guys inside starting staring at her and Nisha became very irritated and angry. Before she could retort a bike came to stop between the auto and her and the guy on the bike turned towards the auto and asked the twosome in the backseat whether he could accompany the guys in the auto.  The auto moved away quickly.  Nisha felt relieved but was surprised when a familiar voice urged her to hop on the bike behind him. As the face was half hidden under the helmet, she could not make out earlier that it was Suneel, a colleague in the office three years senior to her. She did not like him since the day she had joined office because it seemed to her that he was very arrogant. He used to walk in the office as if he owned it.  He would try to poke his nose in almost everyone’s affairs.  Sometimes he would pose as if he is the conscience of all his colleagues. She had always felt that he did not like her and at times would mock at her and would undermine the efforts she was making on the newly assigned project. And above all he seemed to be against Deven her favourite colleague at the office.

“Come on sit behind me quickly. What are you staring at? Those guys are already gone,” he urged her.

“I don’t want....” Nisha started but her soft voice was lost in the din of the horns that had started blaring behind the bike on the congested road.

Suneel looked at her in amazement and shouted over the blaring horns so that he could be heard, “are you mad? Do you suppose you are going to get any auto at this time? You do not want to reach in time?” “OK suit yourself,” he kicked the bike and started but then his gaze softened for a moment and he said,“It’s, Okay, move on behind me we will reach very quickly”. Gazing all around Nisha realized that people were looking at them with amusement. As if on impulse she quickly jumped on the seat behind him and as soon as she had settled Suneel sped off towards office. Within 10 minutes they were in the parking lot. Both got down, neither said anything even while entering the lift and Suneel made his way straight to his chambers as soon as he got out without hearing the thanks that she mumbled.

Nisha felt that the starting of that day was not so good and her mood was not up to the mark, although she had reached office ten minutes earlier than her usual time.  She started with the chores pending on her desk and the mail in her inbox.

While sipping coffee with Neerja her friend during coffee break who had joined the company one year earlier than she did she shared her morning experience.  

Neerja exclaimed “You did the right thing. Suneel is a very nice guy.” 

 

Nisha retorted,“Nice guy! My foot! I don’t give a damn to how he is. To me he appears to be very arrogant and irritating. He ignored even my thanks.   He is very rude at times! He thinks he is a genius and all others are fools. He thinks he is the only one who is running this company.” 

“Cool down, cool down baby” said Neerja, “I think he is a nice guy and a very competent officer, the management take his advice on a number of important matters. He appears to be arrogant but it is just..., that he is very confident,” she expressed her views. 

Nisha started to protest but suddenly there was a call on her intercom for discussion with her Team Head on new schemes, the company was planning to launch.

Nisha had been given a task to prepare an implementation plan for the trainings of personnel, who will be handling various projects for the company.  Her Team Head had fixed a meeting with Project Heads at four in the afternoon, so she remained very busy the whole day and had to hurry through her work. She thought it better to skip lunch and finish her work, and be ready by three thirty so that there was enough time to discuss the plan with the Team Head before the meeting and carry out any last minute changes.

The meeting began and Nisha found it very boring, wishing it to end by 5:30 pm, so that she could catch the quarter to six bus and reach home in time.  Soon her team’s plan came up for discussion, everything went well, but an objection was raised that the implementation was not practical.  Who else would say so, Nisha was half expecting it and it was Suneel indeed. This would mean that she would have to work out all the details again.  This thought agitated her and she felt that the objection was on frivolous accounts.  She looked up at her Team Head for support but she was already noting down the changes.  Nisha felt left out of the discussion and lost track of what was happening. After the meeting was over she quickly left office almost running towards the bus stop.  Again she had missed the bus and it would mean waiting another half an hour. 

Soon a silver coloured Honda city stopped by her side and she was flattered to find Deven peeping at her and offering her a lift.  Deven was the manager under whom Nisha’s team worked.  Nisha quickly hopped in beside him.  Most of the girls at the office seemed to like Deven.  His way of talking could flatter anyone and he had a charming smile.  He was always dressed stylishly and Nisha was going well along with him.  A number of times she had shared a cup of tea with him in the office and she had observed that he was liberal in complementing her on the good work that she performed.

“Shall we have some coffee before I drop you?” Deven offered.

Sensing her reluctance he quickly added, “It will not take more than 15 minutes; anyhow you will still be reaching home earlier than you usually do.”

Nisha was puzzled but she nodded, realizing that she would like to spend some time with Deven. She had earlier had a few happy moments with him in office and had a number of times seen admiration for her in his eyes.  Besides she liked him. He was so immaculately dressed and his mannerism was so pleasing.

Soon Deven pulled in the car in the parking lot of a small restaurant. From the look of the exteriors Nisha could guess that it would be expensive. The waiters and other service providers greeted Deven heartily and from the attention that they received Nisha conjectured that he must be visiting the place frequently. Deven talked about the movies he had seen and learnt about what interested Nisha the most.  Even before Nisha realised, it was time to go, quickly they left the restaurant and Deven dropped her just near her house and made a detour to reach the road he needed to catch.

        The events of the evening raised her spirits and she could not stop thinking about the last comment made by Deven before she came out of the car.  In her mind she could hear Deven say that he found her different from the rest of the world and that he liked her very much.  She realised that for the last few months she had been seeing Deven more and more during office hours and the first meeting alone this evening had brought them closer.  Humming a soft tune of her favourite Bollywood song she entered her house.

poem Mushkile

Dear friends
The poem Mushkile is as below:

I hope you will leave your comments on the poem.
All the best.
Manisha

A Gift

Dear friends 

Thank you so much for the vast response, appreciation, love and affection that you showered on me. I received many messages of your appreciation in my e-mail for which I am truly grateful and am deeply touched. After two short poems I am now posting a story and am looking forward to your response.

 A GIFT

Hearing the door bell as I opened the door and found an attendant from the hospital where Mithoo had been admitted standing in front of me. He handed me a heavy box calling it a locker and asked that it may be emptied and returned the next day to the hospital.  While completing the formalities at the hospital we did not remember anything about the locker. Patients were given lockers for keeping their valuables which would remain in the custody of the hospital and could be opened only by a secret number chosen by her or the kin.  The hospital staff could not open it.

The uniformed attendant refreshed the memories of our lost war. For the last year we were fighting a war against acute leukemia, a deadly monster, which had crept silently into our lives and snatched Mithoo away from us. It all started with Mithoo having frequent fevers, rapidly losing weight and becoming weak day by day.  Many times teachers used to send her back from the school as she was not able to cope with the pressures of studies.  A series of blood tests followed by a test of her bone marrow confirmed the doubts of the doctors.  Nobody including the god could give me an answer that why this happened to my only child, the one who is our lifeline, the one around whom our whole world revolves. 

The war included many battles on various fronts. We had immediately started the treatment after it was diagonised but somehow it was overtaking us and instead of going into remission it would raise its head again and again and was spreading too fast. We had tried to give her the best medical treatment and services even though we could not afford it. Financially we had become very weak. I had to leave my job to attend to Mithoo’s daily needs and medical condition. Each and every rupee was somehow drained by the treatment, medication, and other expenses.  Over and above the emotional trauma that we were undergoing was gnawing into our lives, the frustration as the disease spread and progressed, drained us of all hopes and pumped in fear and a general disbelief with the life.  The pain from chemotherapy and the paleness on Mithoo’s face used to cut through my heart like thousand of knives and I was reduced to a mute helpless spectator of her sufferings. It was a challenge everyday to keep ourselves calm even in face of all the despair and keep fighting with the imminent loss of awaiting us. Though doctors had declared a long time back that Mithoo will not be with us, the desolation kept on increasing with the passing of each day.  A glaring void that would be created by Mithoo’s going away in our future lives haunted us day and night.  To keep away panic and to fight this trepidation both of us used to drown ourselves with daily chores and pretended to be cheerful all the time. However the activity of staff and visitors and the need to appear positive for Mitthoo’s sake kept us going and neither of us dared to speak anything negative.

  Both of us were also trying to spend every moment with her but of course we needed to be away for work, he to earn money and I to tend to household needs mainly cooking, washing and cleaning.  In the last few months Mitthoo’s condition had been deteriorating very fast.

  For those months our sole purpose had been to keep her happy.  Almost all our relatives had visited us to see and meet Mithoo.  Visits from her school friends in the evenings had become a regular feature.  Invariably before dinner at dusk every evening she would hold my hand and would not allow me to move anywhere unless her father came to her to the hospital after returning from work to talk to her.  He was generally coming quite late because he was doing an extra shift of taking tuitions every day to earn more money.

Only a few days before her thirteenth birthday on 24^th of January in spite of my efforts to dissuade her Mithoo brought me into agreeing to get her a necklace as a gift.  I felt that she had inkling that this was her last birthday and because of this notion I could not say a No to the want in her eyes.

She was not aware of the poor pecuniary condition that we were in.  The bills of the hospital, medicines, groceries and the cost of daily transportation could not be met from her father’s meager salary.  Besides I could not go to work leaving her hospitalized. The Provident Fund was depleted; in fact we were deeply in debt and had exhausted all sources of money.  We had already borrowed money from most of my friends and relatives.

Those days I was daily walking around two or more kilometers daily to reach the hospital and then again to come back. Next day while returning from the hospital I took a detour through a nearby market.  While walking browsing through various stores which had artificial jewellery items displayed I saw a very appealing necklace quite close to Mithoo’s imagination priced at rupees 750.  I knew that even an ordinary looking necklace would cost a minimum of rupees 400 and then this was such a beauty.   My two or three month’s savings would easily allow me to buy it but I didn’t have so much time.  It was a dilemma and wisely I decided not to purchase it because I knew about the payments that were due the next few days.

  A lot of contemplation gave me an idea. So on the eve of Mithoo’s birthday I collected and cleaned the last lot of old newspapers in the house that were scarce since a long time ago I had asked the delivery boy to stop giving them. We had stopped taking them to economize.  I opened Mithoo’s Almirah and searched for materials I could use in my project. I could find most of the things and some red and blue water color left over from Mithoo’s school days.   Using my Origami skills I came up with a delicately cut and beautifully colored necklace. I soaked some apple seeds in yellow and red colour. I glued sequins spacing them in floral and star shapes and then I fixed some yellow and green coloured apple seeds in place of gems as a finishing touch. I also made strings of blue colored wool glued with sequins and red and blue stone pearls.  I felt satisfied with the ethnic look that the delicate necklace had.

On Mithoo’s birthday all her friends had brought her gifts. Even her maternal and paternal uncle had brought her dresses in pink and white colors that she loved. I was really grateful that she was happy with the video game which she could play even while lying in the bed and other girlish accessories. To my relief she seemed to have forgotten all about the paper necklace I gave her in the morning among these attractive gifts.  She seemed to be quite excited to get it but I felt a grudge in my heart as I handed it to her.  I had quickly promised her that I would be replacing it soon with a real one.

Last month her pain increased and her body further deteriorated refusing to respond to medication and the doctors told us to pray for her. I had started spending maximum time with her and would leave her side only occasionally.  My helplessness against our fate had completely marooned my spirits in a hideous grief.

After return from funeral five days ago home was reduced to a place of bricks people call a house lacking the joyous laughter and her pranks.  A deep sadness loomed in the air. A cold feeling of ultimate defeat and despair crept up inside me. I suddenly had nothing to do. All the relatives and friends had already left us after trying their best to console us.

  On Mithoo’s insistence we had already decided that we would give away all Mithoo’s possessions to needy people.  Now I doubted that there would be anything inside the box because Mithoo never had any valuables with her in the hospital and had given away all of her stuff by her own hands to smaller children.

It took me a lot of time to summon up the courage to open the box fearing what memories it may unfold.  And there it was staring in my face the red and blue necklace kept away safely in the locker as the owner was afraid that she may lose it!  Her valuable possession!! Beside it was a slip on which was scribbled in the very familiar writing “I love…..” The rest of the words were blurred in front of my eyes because of the tears rolling down from them over on to the necklace which made the blue color fluid.

MANISHA BHATNAGAR

Andhera aur Roshani

Dear friends
After a lot of Intezaar I am posting a new poem.  A number of people have asked me to post something new. As I was away on an official tour I could not do so earlier.  However i am looking forward to your comments on the poem and its presentation. The pic associated with the poem was taken with a Canon DSLR camera.  Enjoy the poem but please do leave your comments.
Manisha

Andhera aur Roshni poem by Manisha

Intezar

Dear Friends
Thank you all for the wide appreciation of the story 'I luv u Papa'. I know I have kept you waiting for a long time for the next creation.  Friends waiting is a part of life, we wait for things and events to happen, for people to come back, for our turns and so on....

I have tried to capture these feelings in my poem titled 'Intezar'.  I hope you enjoy it . Please leave your comments.  I am waiti........ 
Manisha