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Are you afraid?

      We all have fears small or big. Fear, as we know, exists at two levels. One is at the physical level which we see, feel and know from other people and our experience. For example, before crossing a busy road it is essential to be careful and look at both sides. There is a danger of being hit by vehicles, and the fear is genuine. Such a concern helps to keep us safe by alerting us to potentially dangerous situations.  If you are going alone late at night along a lonely street and two guys come across you from the opposite side, you may feel fear as to what kind of guys they may turn out to be which again is a genuine sense of the risk involved. You become alert. Such concerns need to be tackled carefully and help to protect us.

      Here I am talking about fears that exist in mind and do not allow us to fulfill our dreams. Worry can lead us to hide, to run away, or to freeze in our shoes. When fears begin to take over our lives and affect our functioning, they become a problem. If our fears feel overwhelming, the distress from the fear can interfere with our ability to function, and we may experience intense anxiety or nervousness.

There are many phobias, but here I am talking about fear in general. You may have a general fear of life or uncertainty of future. You might be afraid of a financial loss, and this may prevent you from taking a risk and not dare to leave the dissatisfying old job or implement a new business idea.

  

       A widespread fear that prevails in people feel is from society or what would people think. We are fearful that people may judge us in the wrong way. It may be stopping you from speaking up the right cause. It might prevent you from taking a stand or voice your opinions. It may also make you feel shy about public speaking.

      Another common fear is that of losing someone. You feel if you would say something or take some action it might spoil a relationship.

      The ultimate fear is the fear of death.

      These fears stop you from living fully the way you want.

      So the obvious question is, can you become fearless? 

      The answer to that is a resounding YES!

     It is crucial to understand what fear is to enable you overcome it. Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined. It can also be said to be the feeling or condition of being afraid.

     Some authors call it a ‘Fantasized Experience Appearing Real.’ Fear is not real. It exists only in our minds. We fear the future. We are afraid of something that might happen in future. We are not scared of what has happened in the past but of what may happen. We think about it and many times overthink it so that, the line separating the reality and imagination dissolves and it becomes our reality. It becomes challenging to differentiate between reality and illusion. There is a story about a Russian prisoner in the first half of the last century, who was sentenced ‘Hang to death.’ Russian scientists approached him and asked him if he would be a part of an experiment where he would die of a snake bite from a venomous snake that was shown to him. He agreed. He was blindfolded, and the forefinger of his leg was pinched with a needle instead of snake bite. Within a few seconds his body became blue, and bubbles & foam started coming out of his mouth just as would be in case of a real snake bite!  He died immediately.  It was only fear and the belief that he was bitten by snake bite killed him. Although the authenticity of this story is not confirmed, psychologists claim that people do develop symptoms of diseases, burns, and wounds out of fear.

      Fear can have a devastating effect on our lives.

      Sadhguru says, “Fear is simply because you are not living with life, you are living in your mind. Your fear is always about what’s going to happen next. That means your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non-existent, your fear is hundred percent imaginary. If you are suffering the non-existential, we call that insanity. So, people may be in just socially accepted levels of insanity, but if you’re afraid or if you’re suffering anything which does not exist, it amounts to insanity, isn’t it?”

Therefore, at the psychological level, fear limits you, puts boundaries, or creates walls around you. You are not able to make decisions. You remain under pressure, and you do not live life fully as you want.

What can you do about it? 

      As I said earlier, the first thing is to understand what the fear is about and the reason behind it.  An analysis of the situation will help you see what you are afraid of more clearly. Identify whether you are clinging to your fear because it is a part of who you are. To transcend your fear you must face it. Identify the cause of your anxiety. Become aware of the frightening pictures or sounds. Become an observer of what is happening inside you. If you do so half of your battle is already won.

      Find the root cause of fear. One little negative thought triggers the next and the next and so on.

    The next step is to start chasing the negative thoughts out and replace them with new and positive ones.  Though tackling the negative thoughts is not easy, but it is achievable. As soon as you detect a negative thought become aware of it and start thinking something else like about a baby, your favorite song or something good that happened to you. It is as if you do not like a program on TV, you change the channel.

   In your mind’s eye, see yourself fearless and the way you want yourself to be.  Practice being confident with your shoulders straight, chin up and a smile on your face.  There is a direct connection in your physiology and your state of mind. Visualization helps a lot in doing so.

  You might start seeing reality and overcome your fear.

  Sadhguru suggests that living in the present and not letting your mind imagine things will free you of fear.

  To handle the fear about how people would judge you, or would think about you, stop bothering about it. People see your situation from a different perspective. Try to show them your viewpoint. Listen to all but do what you think is appropriate.

  It is good to be fearful of financial loss because it will keep you careful. But that does not mean that you should not take risk. You must make a calculated risk. Plan out your way, develop your strategies and keep two or three backup plans. Then take a plunge.

We should gracefully accept mortality.  Learn to accept that death is a natural phenomenon.  We are a part of a great cycle through which we must go.

   A few strategies may help.

  

  Foremost take control of your life. Keep yourself active and engaged. Spend time with people you enjoy being around with. Learn something new. Keep challenging yourself. Stop doing things and jobs that dissatisfy you. Try to adopt some rituals in life. It does not matter if you are not religious. The rituals create a sense of meaning in life and give continuity to existence.  It could be as simple as taking a walk or lighting a candle or saying a small prayer.

   Put your focus on living well. Make efforts to remain healthy and positive. Plan your legacy.

     No fear exists that cannot be conquered.